Self love naturally arises when you are living your true nature. You cannot love what you are not!
Especially if you are a parent, it all begins with your Self… being yourself, loving yourself! If you begin with yourself your child can follow your lead and learn how to love themselves unconditionally, to accept their irks and quirks, their limitations, and by that encounter their unique gifts and talents and take the ride of their life without resistance and psychological hardship.
You cannot love what you are not! You cannot love the Not-Self! Following your Not-Self purpose (trying to be what you are not) will not lead to fulfilment, success, surprise, or inner peace. Love naturally unfolds when you are honoring your true nature – love for yourself and love for the other in your life that is. The kind of love I am referring to is not the fleeing feeling of “in love,” when we look at the world through rose-colored glasses. This love is a deep appreciation and acceptance of what is, who you are and who the other is. No matter what is happen in your life, what circumstances you encounter, what kind of people you meet, when you are living as yourself, you have this space, this place, this openness, this feeling within. You can always fall back into it and just be, be yourself. Your essence is making you whole, no matter what definitions you have (defined or undefined G-Center or single, split, triple, or quadruple split).
Most human beings never really get a chance to experience this kind of love because they get caught up in the ways of the world where up until now it was all about achievements and appearances.. They keep running after what they think they want, not noticing that most of it has never arisen out of themselves. That all they running after has nothing to do with their true essence or purpose. People try to prove themselves, risk their lives, manipulate people and circumstances in order to make happen whatever they think needs to happen. They try to control what cannot be controlled, life itself. Life has and will always run its course, we can flow with it or muster up all our energies trying to go against the flow… meanwhile our Not-Self purpose is what costs us our health and happiness on all levels, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Accepting our limitation (in other words “following your strategy and honoring your inner authority”) takes away the resistance you experience within yourself and around you that is a result when you are trying to be something you are not. The thing is you can never really succeed, you can build castles, amass a huge amount of money, surround yourself with the most beautiful people and still feel empty inside, feel unrecognized, feel fed up with the sameness of it all and completely lack inner peace.
Given that almost no one is nourished according to who they really are it all of this can be quite challenging. Our parents and we as parents mean well and most parents do it better than their parents yet if you have no idea who you are and who your child is, how can you care for what they really need? The books that tell you what is normal and healthy for them will not do the trick, well, sometimes they might, but everyone is unique so it is basically hit and miss. The best way is trusting your own intuition as parent and if it is part of your path a toll like Human Design can simplify the matter. You as a parent are unique and you can only provide what is natural for you, and your child has unique needs that arise out of its own unique nature. If you bring these two together there can never be a parent-child relationship that is the same.
The beauty about Human Design is that it reveals your own magic and the magic of your child to you, you can look at your own blueprint and theirs and get a few simple tools to put it into practice in your daily lives.
Here is the link to a beautiful exploration of this thematic by Leela Swann-Herbert, one of my beloved teachers and mentors.
Following our strategy and honoring our inner authority will confront anyone who is committed to their process with anything that has kept them from living out their true nature, this process is called de-conditioning and can be quite uncomfortable at times yet it will release anything that you are not and allow your true nature to shine.
Human Design gives you the blueprint for yourself and your child so you see in black and white or rather red and black who and what you are dealing with within yourself and your child, you can see your conscious and unconscious traits and the whole of you and them.
Authenticity of the parent is one of the most important factors for any child to feel safe in your presence . They do not need you to be perfect. They need you to be you. They unconsciously notice any in-congruencies you express. If you are still coming back to yourself and are yourself learning to make correct decisions again, just be real and authentic. It is okay. All your child needs from you is authenticity, to be who you are, no matter where you are standing in your own journey . Be gentle with yourself!
Live your truth or suffer the consequences!
Following your internal guidance, your inner authority or the experience you will draw into your life will show you that you have not respected and honored yourself. Especially at this moment in time I see people exploring this deeply. Having to deal with all the ways they have disregarded their inner knowing, their inner authority and now need to learn how to honor themselves, love themselves first before worrying about what others may think or feel or expect of them. This is a learning process, so be remember to be gentle with yourself. Relaxing into this experience! Breathe! Acting authentically keeps your body, mind, and emotional field healthy. So in case you notice disturbances in any of these areas, check yourself… have you honored what you know is correct for you? Or are you still allowing your mind and therefore outer authorities of any sort to make your life’s decisions for you?
Honor your ahuh or unun. Honor your emotional clarity. Honor your direction. Honor your spontaneous knowing, your taste, or your instinct. Honor your heart. Honor your process. Whatever way your inner guidance is letting you know and everyone of us has a way of knowing what is right or wrong for them. Listen to yourself and be gentle! You are doing the best you can in any moment in time! If you find yourself not being able to follow through on what you feel is right for you, watch what is happening while you disregard yourself, you will learn invaluable lessons that will allow you sink deeper into your true nature. It takes time…
Your vibe attracts your tribe
All too often I encounter people with the open ego that want to do it right, that put all their effort into doing it right… doing it better… proving and improving themselves. Recently someone even referred to it as constantly having to “wow everyone including themselves”. How sad if you think that you have to feel like your presence is not enough, you have to do something to be accepted. We are human beings, not human doings. If you are with the people that are your people your presence is always enough! They are wowed by your presence, it just happens naturally, without effort or strain. When we are following our unique path, the magic unfolds right before our eyes, often in moments we least expect it.
Being yourself and getting to know who you really are, allows for the people that are your people to come in. It is good to know that we are finding ourselves where all the cards have been shuffled again so we will see where the chips will fall. In your body you know who is right for you, you know who is here to stick around, and you know who has/had to leave for you to take the next step. Learn to listen within.
We are on the brink of a new world. We are in the middle of experiencing all these changes and the old concepts of what life is about are changing, relationships are changing, we are changing. For the better or for worse? Who knows? We are simply changing, we are in the midst of it and we can all feel it, may we be highly sensitive or not. Everyone has their own wavelength, everyone has their own way of perceiving the world, we all feel that change is happening. We are leaving the world of contracts and having to prove ourselves behind. There are still the people with a defined ego that can prove that they can do whatever they have committed to when they are following their inner guidance. Even the defined egos have lost their ability to simply push the material world around according to their mental agendas. It does not work anymore, if they still try tmake stuff happen that is not theirs to make happen, they notice their bodies, minds, or emotions are suffering the consequences. Mostly it is the bodies that are doing the talking these days. The bodies are letting us know something is off, or something still wants to be looked at. The rest of us with undefined egos needs to learn to let go of trying to achieve things with willpower and really listen to our bodies when it comes to contracts, relationships, and how to deal with life in general. There is no more need to prove yourself! You are who you are! And you are perfect the way you are right now!
It is about BEING not DOING. The doing gets done – effortlessly – no need to toil or torture yourself anymore. You are here to enjoy your life experience with all its ups and downs. You are not here to show off what you have done and what you can do. Everyone of us has a unique set of beautiful gifts to explore. We are all perceptive in our own unique way.
This is a beautiful time for healing and re-aligning ourselves and for creating a fertile ground for our children to love themselves for who they are. We are all precious in our own special unique and marvellous way! Do you dare to look at yourself and the people around you and see the beauty that is already there? Do you dare to take a closer look at where you and the people around you are still hiding their gifts?
Self love is the basis of our relationships because anything we do unto ourselves we do unto others. So loving ourselves comes first. This Self love arises when we can accept ourselves for all we are, all the beautiful gifts we bring and all the limitations we have. A projector for instance is not here to work, they are not here to prove they can generate or manifest, they are here to see and guide. Generators and manifesting generators for that matter are here to feel fulfilled by what they are doing no matter how minor the outcome may seen of what they are putting their energy into. Have you ever seen or been in the presence of someone simply drinking a cup of coffee and being deeply fulfilled by it? It can be so simple. A manifestor is here to do what life pushes him or her to do, say what needs to be said and not hold back because they are afraid of rejection. A reflector is here to be open to life and all its change they will actually notice when a surprise disrupts the same old same old.
Images of bodygraphs are taken from my favorite Human Design program, Neutrinos Through Windows © Erik Memmert. Check out www.NewSunWare.com.
Thanks to the contributors of Unsplash whose beautiful photography makes these post so much more accessible. Check out https://unsplash.com.