And again we are taking a journey into the world of our relationships, this time we will look at some underlying dynamics in our relationships.Relationships are a big field that can be looked at from many different perspectives and today we will be looking at the spark…
The spark is created by our differences. It is said that opposites attract. This is a genetic strategy to ensure that our offspring is created by bringing together different genetic materials. Therefore the result is a wider variety of forms, more potential mutations, and healthier children. All of us are naturally attracted to what we are not to ensure the genetic survival of the human species. As a side note it is good to take into consideration that the genes are not interested in harmonious relationships, all they push for is the combination of new genetic material.
We call the attraction of opposite forces electro-magnetics. In Human Design most of us know the term electro-magnetics as describing one gate on one side being open and attracted to the gate on the other side, both gates together creating a channel. Electro-magnetic is a term we use in this describing this attraction in the study of partnerships or relationships in our connection charts.
Our differences can make it very interesting to be with the other. Then again, in unconscious relationships the differences that are so attractive in the first place can make it quite uncomfortable to be around the other after the initial spell has worn off. Therefore any electro-magnetic connection implies a dynamic of attraction and repulsion. Being aware of the underlying attraction of what we are not makes it easier to deal with the repulsing force that is the reverse side of attraction.
Any spark, any electro-magnetic connection, is unique! The individuals coming together are both unique so is their connection as their types and definitions have a strong impact on it. We will take a look at these attractive electro-magnetic forces through different filters, first by type and then in the context of our openness (open centers/channels/gates).
The spark highlights contrast- contrast sharpens our perception or it blinds us!
Where does the spark come from?
I will clarify some terminology in the context of the study of relationships here.
Electromagnetics. This is where the spark comes from. This is the attractive quality of opposite forces and therefore electromagnetics do not only happen between gates, even if that is what the term actually refers to. They happen between open and defined centers and therefore types as well.
Dominance. One person has a complete channel, the other one has no activation in the channel. This is where you can learn about qualities that have nothing to do with your expression of life. Very interesting and fascinating study. This is probably my first line profile speaking here.
Compromise. You have one gate, the other brings the complete channel and therefore they do not need or notice you. Here lies the deepest area of conflict within relationships so I loved it when I recently heard Ra say, he treats compromises like dominance, he does not react to it, he just watches. Just watching, even if you have a receptive gate that can be triggered, takes the charge out of the compromise which is only a problem for the person who does not have the whole channel so if you just allow your internal processing to take place without acting on it and just watch the fully defined channel of the other like you have nothing to do with it you will be able to enjoy the relationship a lot more.
Companionship. Two people have the same channel activated. This actually creates a stable, reliable basis for any relationship in the sameness and similarity. There is no spark, but the deep potential of harmony and friendship within the sameness. Companionship brings harmony into type-to-type interaction.
Attraction by type – relating with life
The first layer where the force of attraction is at work is when it comes to type, the aura, the electromagnetic field around our body.
Human Design lays out the energetic hierarchy of the types. Hierarchy does not imply that one is better than the other. Each type has its unique purpose and role and we need all of them to fulfill the potential of humanity. The hierarchy simply follows the energetic flow of life from the manifestor to the generator to the projector to the reflector. Through the manifestor life is initiated and this creates something for generators to respond to. Manifestors and generators, mainly generators, can invite projectors to fine-tune how they employ their generative, fertile and creative life-force. Reflectors can be initiated by all types to take part in the play of life and they will mirror the health and happiness of bigger group environments like families or communities. In this sense the hierarchy just allows us to take on our unique role within the whole. And given most people try to play a different role than the one that actually suits them, they bring chaos and confusion into the whole. Manifestors who can bring the initiative for creating harmony again. Generators playing out their responsive role become fulfilled within themselves and life starts to flow more easily and uninhibitedly. Projectors and Reflectors can only really fulfill their unique role when they are with people or in an environment where life is honored, otherwise most of them are just drowned by the pressure of the majority to be who they are not. The two types that are through the nature of their aura most comfortable to relate with each other are generators and projectors. Correct type to type interaction through your strategy and following life’s flow by honoring your inner authority is what Mary Ann Winiger calls “the recipe for harmony“. Following your strategy and honoring your inner authority allows you to play your role and create harmony and flow in your life experience and who knows who you will relate to?
The different types have also different ways of experiencing attraction and repulsion. Manifestors tend to lean towards repulsion, generators envelope the whole dynamic, projectors focus on the dynamic, and reflectors, well, they just do their own thing or mimic the other.
Coming back to the force of attraction ist, in relationships we are more attracted to the types that are different from our own. So to be able to honor ourselves when life brings us together into inter-type relationships or parenthood we rely on following our strategy and honoring our inner authority. It is very valuable to know that all the types have different needs in relationships that can easily be honored when you are aware of them. Manifestors need freedom and respect. This enables them to let life initiate through them and to do what arises out of their being. Projectors need recognition and invitation. They are here to be invited to participate in life and to contribute their unique gifts to those that are open to their input. Reflectors need freedom to dance with the moon. They are precious as they will mirror their surroundings and can be a sounding board for the health and happiness of our families and communities. Generators need to be able to respond to life in the moment (or be allowed to feel out their wave in case they are emotionally defined) and then honor this response and therefore be able to be immersed in those things and activities that fulfill them instead of being forced to slave away and become angry, frustrated and even vile. They set the tone for life for all of us. They represent life itself.
If these needs are honored in our childhood by creating a positive conditioning field, children are trained to allow nothing but respectful and correct interaction with the other. Honoring your child´s need can only happen when you are honoring your own needs first. And there is always a creative solution to be found. Are you ready to be creative and play?
Attraction through open centers – relating with the other
Given that the connection between the sacral and emotional center is the basis for all intimacy both centers are two strong attracting forces in general. One of the strongest attraction is between open emotional and emotionally defined people. Emotions make the world go round, they make life juicy and exciting or dramatic and painful. If you are interested you can read more about that here.
Open sacrals and sacrals also face a strong attraction. Here we also find the natural attraction between projectors and generators as these particular connections are meant to be the building blocks for the future. Aware projectors guiding (not forcing or sucking) the life-force of awake generators. In my own experience I have noticed that it is necessary to be really conscious about this deep attractive force when it comes to projectors and generators. The sacral center, especially when combined with an emotional center, carries a deep sexual attraction. In most cases the interactions are actually misunderstood. The projector is here to guide the generator and this guidance does not necessarily have to be taken into the bedroom. In case it is going to go there, your strategy and authority will lead you there. With my open sacral especially in the time before Human Design entered my life I had encounters where I deeply identified with the workings of my partner´s or friend´s life-force. I quite literally mis-interpreted what I noticed happening in their body and thought it was happening in my own. It was a revelation to know that I only perceive what is happening and it has nothing to do with me and I do not have to act on it. Awareness is how our open centers become playing fields and they are so wise, beautiful, and rich.
With our openness we attract people that are different from us and when we can be aware of those open spaces, learn a lot, or without awareness we become entangled and involved with things and people that have nothing to do with our true nature. There is a deep attraction between open and defined centers and often in our open centers we keep attracting forces that resemble early conditioning patterns again and again until we become aware of this dynamic and therefore resolve it. Open centers are our playgrounds where we can learn, become aware of our surroundings and environment, where we can be of service to the other when they are open to gain more self-awareness. Open centers, channels, gates are for us to experience how it feels when life flows through them, either when the planets or someone around us brings certain qualities into our experience. Open centers are receptors, they are on the receiving end, open to take in, perceive and if we just do that we stop the entanglements. You will become strongly grounded in your own frequency and will be able to differentiate what momentarily attractive force is really attractive to you in the long run.
It is beautiful when parents are aware of the qualities their children bring, they can stay grounded within themselves while noticing what kind of child they hold in their arms. This clarity within the parent enables the child to get to know who they really are and to firmly ground themselves in their uniqueness instead of thinking they are something they are actually not.
Let the spark further your awareness not diminish it!
The spark – attracting your childhood forces
We are all the genetic continuance of our lineage and so we will see many things repeated. There is a natural form of repetition that comes from our genetic inheritance and there is a repetition that comes about through familial entanglements and inherited traumas. With awareness we can enjoy and notice the first and become conscious of and therefore let go of the second. Becoming aware of the forces that we attract enables us to perceive, see, notice more clearly what is happening. Openness is our playground, not our hell. When we become entangled in our openness this is usually where we suffer the most. I thoroughly enjoyed a class Alokanand Diaz gave on Co-Dependency where he talked about that he kept attracting his mother´s frequency in his partners and how becoming aware of that dynamic changed his perception. Are you interested to take a look at who you have attracted and are attracting into your own life and whose frequency from your initial experiences they bring back to you?
Through conscious relating we are moving away from purely genetic attraction to make more and create new mutations and into the realm of true connection. True connections are not based on attraction of opposite forces, even if they can still be part of them. They are based on the body’s wisdom that guides us to be close to the people that enrich our life experience in one way or the other. Following your strategy and honoring your inner authority leads to conscious relating and there is a harmony and a sweetness that is only possible when you are seen, heard, and allowed to be yourself. Life is love and love is direction.
Love is direction. Are you ready to allow love take you on the ride of your life?
Images of bodygraphs are taken from my favorite Human Design program, Neutrinos Through Windows © Erik Memmert. Check out www.NewSunWare.com.
Thanks to the contributors of Unsplash whose beautiful photography makes these post so much more accessible. Check out https://unsplash.com.