In these times of major collective change I see how people struggle more and more, how much they allow fear to control them and so they themselves turn to control in a desperate attempt to create security. We are moving into a time period where the fear of tomorrow is part of the background frequency and we can deal with it in two ways, either relax into our bodies and the experience in the present moment and enjoy what we can always rely on, our definition, or buy into the fear that is all around and try to do something about it. I prefer the first option and when life gets rough, I slow down and breathe. Each of us has a place within that they can rely on, even reflectors can rely on their (PHS and) profile. Change is constantly happening with or without us and we have the possibility to relax into our experience of it. This is a magic time where we can watch major collective changes happen.
Security and trust derive from making correct decisions
Children are always ready to choose being themselves, we are the ones that make them stop by imposing our expectations, rules, regulations, projections, fears, and unfulfilled desires on them.
How can you trust anything outside of yourself when you do not trust yourself? You can only trust anything or anyone else if you trust yourself. Most of us have lost that trust in ourselves, in our bodies and therefore in life itself. Our minds are trying to keep us safe and dictate what to do next, trying to control the outcome. When we follow the ego-mind we falsely assume we are in control and keep ourselves safe by following the mind´s bidding. In my experience the opposite is the case, following my strategy and honoring my inner authority has shown that I can trust myself, trust my body, and trust life. Developing this trust in life has allowed me to relax deeply into my being, has allowed me to resolve old traumatic experience so my body could heal so I can more purely experience what is here for me. I am able to enjoy the highly sensitive and ecstatic nature of my body, at least most of the time. Being highly perceptive or highly sensitive used to be more of a curse than a blessing for me because I could not handle and digest the constant flow of information coming in, I was burdened by it. Now my body knows what I correct to take in and what is not so following my strategy and honoring my inner authority has taught me how to take care of myself. What felt like a burden has become an asset, my way of perceiving the world, and oh my, my perception is still being refined every day. And there is so much magic all around us! Can you perceive it?
Human Design opens up the gateway to be able to know how to make decisions that are correct for us and how our bodies show us what is correct and what is not. A beautiful friend of mine, Tina Marialke, once said to me, “what is correct for you, is correct for anyone else.” This rang true to me back then and has stuck with me and has proven to be true time and time again. How can anything that is not healthy and good for me, be good for anyone else around me even if they think that and make me want to believe it is? The place to make healthy decisions is never the mind, not even for the mental projectors among us, for them it is a mental process. The mind is a place for us to decipher, measure, and structure what we perceive, what we are aware of, so we are able to put it into words and share it with others. The mind is here to support our outer authority, our ability to share and empower other with what we have experienced, what we perceive, what we know, and what we see for the future.
So many of us where trained to fend for ourselves and ourselves alone, never being able to really trust life and enter into any deeper connections with the people around us. Under the premise that no relationship is safe many of us have decided that neither our bodies, nor life, nor for that matter anyone else surrounding us can be trusted. And then there are the ones that were trained to be subservient, to be at someone else’s disposal, giving away their right to decide what is healthy and correct for them. The decision is already made and they simply follow orders. They have no choice, what has to be done is chosen for them and usually that external control mechanism is internalised and is kept alive even if the controlling force on the outside is long gone. Neither an ego-centric nor a self-sacrificing attitude will give us the chance to be happy and healthy on our unique path.
So making yourself miserable by isolating yourself or sacrificing yourself for your partner, family, or children, will not make anyone happy and will rob you of the quality and enjoyment you can receive from life. Life is meant to be enjoyable with all its ups and downs, and challenges along the way. It is here to be experienced, not to be suffered from. And yes it is possible to feel fulfilled and whole within the most challenging of situations. When we learn to trust that life means well and that some of us have a bumpier ride and are well equipped to handle it, some of us have an easier ride and that is perfect for them, we can relax and really contribute what we have to give that no one else can. For some that implies giving donations, for some that means merely being present, for some of us that means saying no to what is not correct for them and following whatever is right for each one of us allows everything to fall back into its rightful place. We are all here to enjoy our individual and unique journey that no one else can have and yet we are beings that are meant to connect to the other, we may be more or less social depending on our definition, yet all of us need contact or we wither away.
No more control, no more guilt…
If it resonates with you that life itself is perfectly orchestrated unless we interfere, we can go a step further. It takes away the notion of having control over anything and therefore the notion of guilt as well. Being able to use Human Design as a tool to know what is correct for you, will relieve and eventually eliminate any form of guilt, may it be blaming your kids for what you consider to be messed up or blaming yourself, the phenomenon we called mom guilt these days! How can anything that feels good and correct for you be wrong for someone else, especially your child? How can anything be your or your child´s fault if anyone is just experiencing life as it presents itself to us?
“Life takes care of life.” – Ra Uru Hu
Life is life, life does what life does, and when we are playing our part, following our path, it is all just an experience, we live, we learn, we fail, we succeed, and with any step we become wiser. We are not here to control life, we are not here to make things happen, things can happen naturally when we allow life to flow through us no matter what type we are. We are not here to blame others, we are not here to be blamed by others, and we are not here to blame ourselves. Life can get messy and chaotic, especially when we move away from the structures our Not-Self has created, when we come out of relationships or business partnerships or occupations that were built upon a faulty foundation instead of us being grounded in our true being. And that is okay. We can start wherever we are in our lives, anytime, any place. When you encounter anger, frustration, bitterness, or disappointment, it is just a reminder to take a deep breath and relax. Usually these are the best moments in life to start your own experiment, by following your strategy… Are you ready?
Manifestors can be manifestors, wait for life to give them the push to initiate and inform anyone involved about what they are initiating or going to do. As a generator, are you ready now to try to wait for an external impulse coming to you so you are able to respond to it instead of trying to make something happen? Projectors are here to wait to be invited for who they really are. Until then they can do their thing, study, or master whatever they are into and have fun with it, waiting for those really notice them instead of trying to get noticed for all the things they are not. Reflectors are the ones that are initiated into life, they are the ones mirroring back to us that we as a collective are deeply connected to the planetary movements and changes, especially the one of the moon. And for all of us unless it is in alignment with our strategy, there is nothing to decide, nothing to do.
“Life is built one decision at a time.” – Ra Uru Hu
Once you are following your strategy, you can really begin to experiment with your inner authority. Your body’s wisdom, your inner authority will guide your decision making process and with each decision you will be able to gain more confidence in yourself and your trust in life can grow.
The inner Authority is our internal GPS, our internal guidance system, and it functions as a compass so we know how to navigate the waters of life, it is anchoring everyone within themselves, the place within that we can always rely on. There are certain inner authorities that take time or that are process oriented and still the body will know what is correct, it just a matter of time and patience for clarity to unfold in your emotional, mental, or lunar process. Inner authority works for young and old. When it comes to babies and younger children the signs may be a bit more subtle because they are not able to put into words what their bodies tell them and on the other hand if you are open to look for the signs, it is a lot more obvious because their body will always show what is correct for them. As an example, a child that is consistently leaning away from a certain kind of food and keeps spitting it out is probably telling you that this certain kind of food is not for them, at least not at that moment in time. If you keep stuffing their face with it, what are you trying to tell them? On the other hand if they keep grabbing a certain food and trying to stuff it in their mouth and are swallowing it, it is probably something that their body is in alignment with. And yes, I know that in the beginning of their life children are notorious for stuffing anything, literally in their mouth that fits in, what I am referring to in this context is a safe setting of feeding them.
Often times when we guide our children, we are also confronted with all the ways we were not allowed to be ourselves when we were raised so maybe you keep your eye open and notice when you are triggered or when you are falling into a repetitive pattern that was taught to you. Children are the best triggers when it comes to dealing with our own traumas. So if anything comes up for you please remember to take good care of yourself as well. Human Design is here to help us to be ourselves and allow everyone to do the same and children naturally support this. They come in as themselves until they are pulled away from it.
Seeing and respecting your child for who they are enables them to make correct decisions! Respecting your child’s inner authority and being a role model what it means to follow your own internal guidance system allows them to become adults whose strength rests within them and can never be taken away from that no matter what happens in their lives. They are whole within themselves and strong enough to face whatever life throws at them and they will know what and who is for them and what and who is not.
Correct decisions create healthy boundaries and we need healthy boundaries in order to have healthy relationships. All of us have experienced all kinds of trauma and entanglements in our lives and the moment we start to decide for ourselves, we set boundaries where they are needed, we create connection where there is connection, we engage in the things that are healthy for us, fulfill us, and provide the resources that we really need.
Human Design is not meant to be a tool to mold or arrange life according to your plans or mental agenda. It is meant to help you to surrender to the beauty and magic of what life itself. We miss so much when we are busy trying to control the outcome, ourselves, or others. You can stop dreaming of having the perfect life, chasing after these dreams or feverishly trying to make them happen, you can begin to live out the life that fits you and that allows the magic to unfold naturally. You may still have dreams and these will be more in alignment with your true nature and your unique role in the bigger picture. There is so much magic for all of us, even in the hardships magic is never far away, sometimes even a lot closer than when everything is running smoothly, so trust yourself and enjoy the fullness of your experience. It is your experience! No-one else can have the same experience as you! All of us are so special and we are all unique, we are all expression of life, love, perfectly created cells in the bigger organism we call life.
“Each and every one of us is a unique aspect of love.” – Ra Uru Hu
There is one more thing that I love to mention because it is so helpful when you are deciphering what resonates with you and what does not. The truth and what resonates with you, open up your body, makes you feel free and relaxed. Truth creates openness. What does not resonate with you or (for the ones that are open to go deeper into their experiment) what triggers an old trauma in you, will contract you, make your mind go crazy. Our mind is meant to be inspirational, it is not meant to be a torture chamber. The truth opens you up, it creates space. What is faulty or untrue for you will create contraction, maybe even pain, confusion and doubt. To be aware that things that are not true for you can trigger deep-rooted old survival patterns can inspire you to look deeper, to look at what is actually going on, to unravel the meaning of your tension or your mental dilemma and therefore lead you back to the truth of being uniquely you. So instead of trying to get away from what feels uncomfortable those are the places that carry a lot valuable information for what we call de-conditioning. But that is a story for another day.
There is only one true choice…
In my experience, the people that are following their strategy and are honoring their inner authority, all come to one point eventually: there is only one choice, you choose between living your true nature or not. In other words, we chose between love or fear, your Self or your Not-Self. It is about trusting and committing to yourself and your life. And then you will be able to easily trust and commit to those relationships and experiences that life has brought for you and your body has embraced in its own unique way.
I will end with a beautiful question posed by Teresa Blanding in an interview with John Martin:
“Are you deciding for yourself or not, and do you know the difference?”
Images of bodygraphs are taken from my favorite Human Design program, Neutrinos Through Windows © Erik Memmert. Check out www.NewSunWare.com.
Thanks to the contributors of Unsplash whose beautiful photography makes these post so much more accessible. Check out https://unsplash.com.